Subject: Re: What going on with me???
From: (Laura Blake)
Date: Mon, 08 Dec 1997 22:07:18 GMT

In, (Donna) said:
I brought up the subject of my CDing to the wife a few weeks ago, not a very productive discussion, so I let it drop. I can't even imagine a discussion along the lines of HRT and SRS (I fear that is where this is going.)

Hi Donna,
It probably isn't my place to say much here, but I do think a note of caution is always needed when this "CD or TS" question comes up...

Bottled up emotion and desire can create a lot of pressure. Like anything else in the physical world, if you build up enough pressure you get an explosion; one that is usually regretted afterwards. It is very easy to take something that if released in a trickle would be nothing, and make it into something far bigger and much more complicated than it needs to be.

I strongly suggest that you take a little time to reflect very carefully on this, ask yourself the difficult questions, such as "Is sex-change REALLY necessary?", "Is there a less complex way to do this?", "Where would I be if I had a free outlet and could pursue this without restriction?" etc.

Sex-change launches you into is a long, complicated, and oppressive process that essentially winds up with you giving control of your life over to a bunch of self-appointed experts who will then decide your future for you. And believe me, sometimes they do say "No". Are you prepared to give up a couple of years of your life, and maybe even your marriage, friends and job, all with the constant risk of a "No" at the other end? Many are the transsexuals who convince themselves they will ace this, only to find themselves 10 years later, still pre-op and still trying to sort it all out.

There are many options SRS is only one... You might be able to make some really simple compromises... a bigendered path such as working as a man, socializing as a woman, might work for you. Crossliving (my choice) is an attractive alternative, you get all the social advantages of womanhood without all the BS of sex-change. Crossdressing is also a very valid outlet for the woman within and, of all transgendered lifestyles, CDing is probably the least threatening to the rest of your life.

A very sage friend of mine once said "When we solve our problems with the least amount of fuss we actually get to enjoy the rest of our lives."

Anyway... keep an eye on that pressure guage, don't let it get into the red before you start dealing with this.


Laura Blake

Our secrets are nasty little mind bombs,
with someone else holding the detonator.